diff --git a/yolomalloc.c b/yolomalloc.c
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..838636e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/yolomalloc.c
@@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
+/*======================*
+%$ /!\ yolomalloc.c /!\ $%
+%$ DANGER Swag overflow $%
+ *======================*/
+
+/* Feature test macros */
+#define _DEFAULT_SOURCE /* for sbrk */
+
+/* Includes */
+
+#include <unistd.h>
+#include <stdio.h>
+
+#include "yolomalloc.h"
+
+/* Defines */
+
+#define YOLO_WORD  (sizeof(long))
+#define YOLO_DWORD (2 * sizeof(long))
+#define YOLO_CHUNK 8192
+
+/* Globals */
+
+void *yolo_start = NULL;
+void *yolo_end   = NULL;
+
+int yolo_init() {
+    yolo_start = sbrk(0);    
+    if (yolo_start == (void*) -1) {
+        yolo_start = NULL;
+        yolo_end = NULL;
+        return -1;
+    }
+    yolo_end = yolo_start;
+    return 0;
+}
+
+/* Ya know, allocating stuff and all */
+void *yolomalloc(size_t size) {
+    if (size == 0) {
+        return NULL;
+    }
+    if (yolo_start == NULL || yolo_end == NULL) {
+        if (yolo_init() != 0) {
+            return NULL;
+        }
+    }
+    int size_w = (size + (YOLO_WORD-1)) / YOLO_WORD; // size in words
+    int align_dw = ((size_w + 1) / 2) * 2; // round size_w to dword
+    void *ptr = sbrk(align_dw);
+    if (ptr == (void*) -1) {
+        return NULL;
+    }
+    return ptr;
+}
+
+void yolofree(void *ptr) {
+    /*----------------------------------*
+     * THE YOLO IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE *
+     *----------------------------------*/
+}